I've been asked this a lot recently and I thought I'd answer it. It's Monday lunchtime, I have White Snake playing and I'm taking a small break after submitting my Criminal Psychology coursework and it seems the perfect time to explain.
Profiling - Because I'm absolutely addicted to figuring out someone's why! What made them decide on that path, that course of action, why did they change, what caused them to change?
I'm addicted to crime shows and documentaries, anything FBI or hunting killers I love, not because I'm a bit nutty but because I love the puzzle that is the person. Why? I'm addicted to finding answers, looking and over-analysing every little thing to get a complete picture.
When I was growing up, I was constantly in trouble and accused over over-analysing everything, apparently I simply wouldn't let it drop and just accept the outcome. I always had to push, fight and research to make sure that there were no other options or reasons. I was grounded and ignored in my childhood home many, many times for this, and now here I am doing criminal psychology to help people find out their why!
I'm addicted to watching Snapped and other shows dedicated to murder, but Snapped is interesting because they did snap. They reached their breaking point and that was where they disassociated from life and decided to make these life-changing actions. Now, I'm not saying we all become killers, but disassociation from a traumatic event will make you change course. You will find yourself in situations you don't want to be in and if you're not careful it can almost be impossible to rectify.
I've been focussing on my life and how I recovered after my last major breakdown. I was 19 years old and I had made multiple mistakes. I abused my body, I was using people and I had pretty much given up on being a normal functioning person. I can never, NEVER take back the way I treated some people back then, especially those who were genuine with their heart and soul for me. I detest who I was back then. The decisions I made were selfish and well, yeah, just a massive amount of trauma building up over the years and not dealing with it to then breaking. I'm angry with how I behaved and treated people and I wouldn't dream of doing those things again to anyone to be honest. I never since got engaged and ghosted them then to see them a year later whilst engaged to someone else, him indoors has been stuck with me.
I am disappointed that I did that. I'm ashamed of my actions but when I look at my life after that moment, when I see the love, happiness, joy and laughter I got when I turned 20 it changed. I changed. I became a better person. My past actions were those of a frightened young person who was afraid of being in a loveless relationship with someone who wouldn't fill me with happiness. Instead of being mature, I ran. But along with some shame there is pride. I never settled, that's why I'm studying criminal and forensic psychology. I need to know the full recipe for my craziness as much as I need air in my lungs.
So, how does this help you? I can help you discover who you are based on who you've been. I can see the past and use it to predict your future in a way. Finding out why we do what we do and questioning why we can't stop is where it helps. It can also help for and against divorce, and employment, even so far as to give an in-depth life plan.
It's true, I'm like a dog with a bone when I'm trying to understand my behaviour. It's not to find an excuse. I can't change the things I've done but I can make sure to change my future so I won't repeat the same mistakes again. I make sure to take my time now with decisions and actions and life is good because of it. My behaviour has changed massively too - how I see money and items, how I want to remember my life. It all comes down to truly understanding who I am, and hey, if I don't get the chance to work within the criminal sector I'd be as happy as a pig in...but even if I don't the learnings are what I love.
So, if you'd like to find out why and how to change, drop me a message. Once we understand why, it's easier to change for the better.
Jo xx